Misunderstandings are a natural part of any relationship. But for Filipino Australian couples (or the likes), either side’s cultural differences can make these misunderstandings a bit worse. As a Filipina who’s been married to an Aussie bloke for about 5 years now, I’d say that one of the best solutions to this is none other than making the effort to understand your partner’s culture.
Before we start discussing, I want to clarify a few things. First is the fact that everyone is different. Although you would find similar traits amongst people of the same culture, you would still have to take into consideration their own personal views and values. Secondly, to better illustrate some of the cultural differences that I think affect Filipino Australian relationships, I did not only base this article off of my own experiences. But I also asked other people who are in a Filipina Australian relationship about their experiences in this regard.
Communication Style
Australian
For the most part, Australians are pretty direct and informal in the way that they communicate. Being indirect can often come across as dishonest and frustrating. Whenever there is an issue, it is preferred that it is confronted and dealt with. You may also find that Aussies tend to add an element of humour in their speech.
Filipino
Although a lot of Filipinos speak English well and it is taught in school, English is not our first language. In the Philippines we use American English so sometimes we find Aussies a little difficult to understand not only because of the unfamiliar accent but also because of some of the Aussie English terms.
Something that I have noticed is that quite a lot of Aussies mumble and run their words into each other. This is something that would take a bit of time to get used to. There are also instances when we find it difficult to express ourselves in English because it just doesn’t translate the way that we mean it to (if that makes sense). It is also common for Filipinos not to say anything or ask to confirm when there is something that we don’t understand.
Family Dynamics
Australian
Aussie households are mostly nuclear with the extended family living separately. It isn’t uncommon for family members to live in different states. Equality and individualism is a familiar theme within Australian families. Gender doesn’t dictate what your role/ duties are in your family. Instead, you will usually be encouraged to pursue your aspirations in life but you will also be expected to be self reliant and be responsible for your choices. When interacting with your partner’s Aussie family, just be open, relaxed, and get amongst it. There usually isn’t anything in specific that is expected of you. Just follow your partner’s lead and you’ll be alright.
Filipino
The family come first, even before one’s self. This is how important families are to Filipinos. A lot of Filipino households are comprised of multi-generational families with a very tight knit bond. If relatives don’t live with each other, they most likely live just down the street. Some of the traditional Filipino family cultures are patriarchy and filial piety (i.e. obidience and devotion to parents and elder family members) . Conventionally, kids have an obligation to help out the family especially their parents who have made sacrifices for them while bringing them up. Age also plays a big factor on the amount of respect you get. Basically, the elders are to be followed and respected no matter what.
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Religion
Australian
For the most part, Australians tend to avoid overtly displaying their religious belief. But in saying that, they are quite respectful of other people’s religious views and of course would expect the same in return.
Filipino
Filipinos are known for having a strong religious faith. The Filipino population are predominantly a Christian nation with 86 percent of its population being Roman Catholics but there are also a healthy number of Muslims in Mindanao (Southern part of the country). Whichever their religion is, Filipinos tend to regularly go to church and publicly practice/ express their religious beliefs. A lot of us are born into our parents’ religion.
Food
Australian
The food can be described as very western but Aussies are quite keen to trying different cuisines. Off the top of my head, some of their most loved food are pies, sausage rolls, fish and chips, pub food, barbecued anything, and of course the infamous Vegemite. Many Australians tend to have a light breakfast and lunch and then a full meal like roast meat and veggies for dinner. Australians are quite mindful of what they eat so they tend to avoid fatty and salty stuff.
Filipino
‘Rice is life.’ This is a common phrase that you’d hear in the Philippines. We love our rice. We almost can’t live without it. We can eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Our meals are comprised of an ulam which is a meat, seafood, or veggie dish that accompanies rice (obviously). When cooking, Filipinos like to flavour their food using soy sauce, vinegar, shrimp paste, fish sauce, garlic, sugar, and of course MSG or ‘magic sarap’.
Unlike Aussies, Filipinos like fatty and salty dishes. Some Pinoy dishes that my Australian friends and family have enjoyed are Adobo, Sisig, Bistek, Kaldereta, Mechado, Spring rolls, garlic rice, and Filipino style Barbecue. On the other hand, they’re not really fond of dried fish, offal, shrimp paste, and balut. Also, Filipinos either use spoon and fork or just simply their hands when eating.
Finances
Australian
Australia has a high percentage of dual income households. Families in this kind of set up have both of the spouses/ partners working. Some of you might be wondering whether or not it is more common to have a joint or separate finances here in Australia. Well, either way is okay, it just depends on what fits your relationship better. Now when it comes to financial independence, a lot of Australians start working quite early on. You’re sort of expected to know how to fend for yourself as soon as you finish school and be financially independent from then on. Having part time jobs while still in school are not uncommon either.
Filipino
Traditionally, the husband goes to work while the wife stays home to take care of the kids, do house chores, and budgets/ handles the guy’s earnings. Nowadays though, there are more and more Filipino families that are dual income households. As a reflection of some of the Filipino dynamics mentioned above, a big part of the Filipino culture is helping each other financially, no matter the age.
The family member who has the most ‘financial capability’, more often than not, are expected to give some financial help to the rest of the extended family. This is why you’d meet a lot of OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers) who work multiple jobs overseas while living on a tight budget just so they can send as much as they can back to their families in the Philippines. But this part of the culture is slowly getting some resistance from the younger generation.
Time
Australian
From what I’ve noticed with Australians, being on time means being there at least 15 minutes before your appointment. Australians value each other’s time and recognise that the other person’s time is just as valuable as theirs. Being late and causing inconvenience is seen as disrespectful.
Filipino
In the Philippines, we have this thing called ‘Filipino time’. Basically, it is very common for people to be late. When you’re meeting someone, it is kind of expected or assumed that they may be late. It can even be for an hour or more. People may say that they’re “on the way” even if they’re still just getting ready to leave. A common excuse is being stuck in traffic, though traffic really is horrible in the Philippines.
Conclusion
I just want to reiterate that this list only aims to explain the common cultural traits of Filipinos and Australians which might create misunderstandings between them. It is not meant to generalise or offend anyone from the above mentioned groups.
Also, are you in a Filipina Australian relationship? Or perhaps in another sort of multicultural romance? Would you have anything else to add on the list? If so, comment down below or message us privately. We would love to hear from you.
P.S. Before I let you go, I want to give a little piece of advice, if I may. Please be open minded and give things a go. Don’t laugh at or judge your partner or spouse’s culture just because it is something that is weird or unfamiliar to you.
Disclaimer All content and information in this post is for purposes of sharing my experiences only, does not constitute professional advice and does not establish any kind of professional-client relationship.
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1 Comment
Challenges that your Filipino partner might go through when she migrates to Australia | Australian-Filipino Couples - My Aussie Story · August 17, 2023 at 3:37 pm
[…] If you want to know more about your Filipina partner’s cultural traits that may have an effect on your relationship, you might want to check out my detailed post about understanding your partner’s culture. […]